There is nothing to do

There is nothing to do

Jose Renato Nalini. Photo: Daniela Ramiro / Estado

Love is a magic, but it is a plague. It drives people, pursues unimaginable goals, is much stronger than drugs. However, it is as addictive as intoxicating substances. It breaks down, making you lose the will to live. This leads to a kind of mild insanity that can only get worse.

What to do when someone falls in love in a way that causes all the rationality to disappear and causes an explosive psychic rage the moment the relationship ends? The authors of the Hammurabi Code were absolutely correct, which forbade the testimony of lovers. They are irrational. They are out of their minds.

I have an intellectual friend who is facing the ordeal of separation. Because they both agreed that co-morbidities were symptomatic, the painful relapses show an unresolved situation. It’s like that delicate tooth that hurts to touch any ice cream. The memory of some special place, that song, someone who looks like a loved one. Something helps to dim the mature and hitherto sensitive mind.

I read that it is possible to fall in love. Psychology has already discovered that detachments affect the brain. Can someone whose heart is broken help them move forward?

For those who have already suffered separations due to death, divorce or just “substance fatigue” in a relationship, only time will know. Some manage to find grace in a state of prostration, in which they threw themselves, disappearing as soon as a new love appeared.

Time is the best medicine. Popular wisdom derives from empirical observation. Teresa DeVila, an avid physician of the Holy Mother Church, said that everything passes through and not God alone.

But there are scientific answers to apathy. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and senior researcher at the Kinsey Institute – whose name is well known for sex research conducted throughout the 20th century – says this senseless crush can work.

After analyzing the brain scans of 100 people using magnetic resonance imaging to identify romantic love circuits, they found that the ventral tegmental area or ATV was activated when someone fell in love. It is the same area of ​​the brain that is related to hunger and thirst, and is caused by tension instead of deep emotional feeling, passion, passion. In other words: to fall in love with someone, not to starve when you are hungry, or to feel thirsty when you are hungry. The easiest thing? Clearly not.

There are no guaranteed fire recipes for this condition. Throwing out all things, burning letters, removing any physical memories can help. And how do you burn a powerful file from memory? Man has no control over thoughts. He attacks without asking permission, driving intoxicated, insane.

The anthropologist, in her research, has found that broken love relationships can cause real physical pain in the passionate brain. It is not just anxiety related to physical pain. It is the physical pain itself.

In an attempt to reduce this truly miserable condition, some strategies have been suggested. The goal of the falling process is to nurture negative thoughts. But it can also bring discomfort. Think of things that inspire happiness. Almost impossible, because the thinking machine is in constant motion, targeting the object of love.

There is a technique called “double punch”: focusing on the shortcomings of a person who wants to forget another measure of distraction. It is unfavorable to drown in drunkenness. Alcohol releases inhibitory brakes. In these moments he connects, at least in theory, with those he intends to exclude from his life.

Anyone who has had a similar experience knows that, even though science offers clues, it is impossible to stop love voluntarily. Love is an integral part of our existence. To love is like breathing. Try to stop breathing. No one can.

In my humble and amateur opinion, I advise this friend of mine to use his experience to cultivate a virtue that is often forgotten today: humility. Those who love and do not relate to each other or forsake love can identify themselves as weak, vulnerable, the favorite victim of these love traps. With it, someone more tolerant, less futile, waiting for a new passion to change, and with additions, is one that has passed.

Also, think as the general public teaches: “There is always an old sliver at the disposal of a tired foot”. Forgetting for sure, falling in love once and for all, forget it! Nothing to do!

*Jos ರೆ Renato Nalini Dean of Uniregistral, Postgraduate Professor at Uninov and President of the Academia Palista de Letras – 2021-2022

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