It was 5pm on a sunny Sunday and Marcelle Cerutti, the actress and photographer of Sೊo Paulo, was waiting for her turn to enter the bar in the Santa Cecilia neighborhood in the west of the city. There, a friend arranged to celebrate her birthday and insisted on giving her a hug. I’ve been to the same bar before. The atmosphere was peaceful, inclusive of all. Next to it was a plaque: All are welcome. People of any gender, bicycles, pets … But, unfortunately, there was a restriction: not everyone is accessible, at least not at any age. This is the information Marcelle received when it came to her turn. She was handcuffed and blocked with her son, 5-year-old Luca. “Ah, unfortunately, children can’t get in.”He listened.
Marcelle felt a lump in her throat. She had no idea how to respond to her son who asked why he should not go to the birthday party. The twins did not understand. After calling her friend who came out to give her a hug, she climbed into the car with the boy and crashed there. “When I do a post to help remove it from me Feeling helplessness, not fitting in againMy friends cannot accept my son because he is unable to live with them, ”the actress said in an interview. Baby.com.br.
She never imagined the power of those words posted on Instagram Stories. “Apparently, not everyone accepts the bar single mothers with their children (…) @miudabar lost me”. Bar, lost more than Marcelle. She lost a group of mothers who grew up in solidarity and increased the urgent need to comment, share, reflect and discuss important issues based on her report: Excluding children and mothers from social life and prejudice and discrimination against childhood, As it is normal and permissible. Spoilers: It’s not.
“This whole chorus of women and mothers standing by me reveals that this is one Mass and urgent pain. It hurts all of us and it hurts really bad because this disability of mothers and children happens every day in so many other places, ”says Marcelle.
Is there a bar issue?
While reading the comments and looking at all the consequences of Marcelle’s post, you will find a series of reports from other mothers who have gone through similar scenarios, along with several others. There are also those who do not hesitate to point the finger: “But, by any chance, is the bar a place for children?”. If parents understand, yes it is. “All the discussions, comments and outbursts of the consequences of what happened to me have helped me understand that, for a long time, I have believed and normalized the mother’s place at home or on the playground. And it hurts. But it is important to say that this is not about me. This is a collective problem because that’s where it got it; It belongs to all of us as mothers and to society, ”reinforces Marcelle.
From Child Psychologist Carolyn Alonso, Sೊo Paulo (SP) The child’s place is the place where the parents decide and where she feels comfortable. “Of course, as long as It does not interfere with your health and your daily routine and does not pose a risk to you”, He explains. “In this particular case, it was a bar, chairs and tables, at 5pm, she would be out and about for a while. … It’s up to the parents’ common sense. Now, excluding people from having children is a prejudice,” she says. So, is there a bar that prohibits the entry of the elderly, or does it leave black people inside? It is up to the individual to decide whether it is appropriate or not”, He points out.
“Of course, there are places where children should not go, because they need to protect their childhood. And they are not exposed to drugs, sex, violence, for example, “Marcelle contemplates.” But that is not the case. They should be able to judge if the place is good for them, ”he explains.
“Children and adolescents – as well as other social groups – are part of life in society. Similarly, children and adolescents have the right to be present in public and private spaces, subject to any legal and judicial restrictions.
Isabella Vieira Machado Henriques, Chair of the OAB-SP’s Children’s and Adolescent Rights Protection Commission
In addition to prejudice, Preventing mothers and children in these cases is against the constitution. “Commercial organizations cannot prohibit access to any social group because of art. Chair of the Committee for the Protection of the Rights of the Child and Adolescents of the Brazilian Bar Association Explains – Sೊo Paulo (OAB-SP), Isabella Vieira Machado Henriques.
According to lawyers, the Children and Adolescents Act (ECA) determines that public entertainment and screenings can inform indicator classification about age groups they do not recommend. “As a rule, children under the age of 10 will only be able to enter and remain in exhibition or exhibition spaces With a mother, father or legal guardian”, Point out.
“That to me … they lost me!”
After all the implications of the case on social media, Bar Miuda posted trying to explain her position.
Part of the official statement reads: “The ECA provides a key role for commercial organizations in the protection of minors, including the constitutional mandate of protection with full priority for children and adolescents, including risk prevention. Therefore, since December, we regularly post on Instagram that it is necessary to present the RG / CNH to check if the person is of legal age to enter the bar. We know that some decisions are personal, others are collective. We want to be truthful and conscientious when we tell what audience we are able to serve. The leisure we offer is not designed for children, their freedoms and needs – and we consider them in this decision. Our environment is created for adults, cultural programs of adult nature and as a result people over 18 years of age. This positioning does not exclude the fact that we are always thinking of improvements in space and performance.
Read this post in its entirety:
To Drink, Marcelle said the clarification note was shallow and that they had defended themselves from the negative impact they had earned in the media and reinforced the move not to accept mothers and children. “There are no words directed at me or other mothers who were already blocked that I found out after I exposed my case. Yesterday [terça-feira, 5]Two days after the incident, They contacted me and we talked on the phone. He apologized at the end of the call and said he was open to reviewing the issues. I hope they take this seriously and actually do something. But for me, it is. They lost me, ”he concludes.
Our report attempted to contact the establishment, but there was no response until the time of publication. On Wednesday night (6), the bar released a video in which it apologized and warned that the home’s policies had changed to make it acceptable to all audiences, emphasizing who should tell, mother or be responsible, whether the place is appropriate or not. For a child:
Beyond the restaurant table…
The debate, however, goes beyond Miúda. They are not the first or last bar to deny mother and child access. Along with other commercial organizations, there has been an increase in the number of events such as weddings, for example Prohibits the presence of children. Among other controversial restrictions are discussions to promote the flight of commercial airplanes free of small planes or restricted areas within the aircraft.
This movement was called “Child-free” or “child-free”. The idea came from the protection of people who did not want to have children – and should have the right to choose to be respected and understood to avoid compulsory motherhood and paternity – but expanded and distorted Groups that want to restrict contact with any child.
“How can I explain to my child why some adults do not want to be around him and why they are prohibited from entering certain places? Even if nothing is done, he is a problem, how do I explain this without understanding that he is wrong? Change “No children” to get the idea of grief for any other minority
Marcelle Cerutti, mother and photographer
“I have heard that this movement is so common in the hotel chain that it refuses to accept children, wears a veil of safety concern, does not pose any danger to the space. The thought that it is troubling, disturbing the child. People, children talk, run, sing, cry, fall, lift things, drop things. They are discovering the world, which is part of every human development, no problem here! They are not the problem. They should be welcomed and respected.”, Mother points out.
Among all the comments he has seen over the past few days, Marcelle says she has seen reports of her mother canceling a car race after the driver saw her child and a stroller, while another had to replace her son. The diaper in the restaurant chair because there was no changing table on the site and she was reprimanded among others.This is an ongoing violence for mothers. And see, I’m talking about a mostly white small area on the west side of Sೊo Paulo. And how about mothers, black mothers with children with disabilities, from the periphery, from the inside of Brazil? The question goes even further, pervading other layers, other realities… the debate never stops. He says that once we see it, we no longer ‘see’ it.
Spoiled children or spoiled adults?
Why do so many adults raise flags that places should be pet-friendly, but reject the presence of children? For psychologist Carolyn Alonso, the root of the situation lies in fact The adult side doesn’t understand much with the younger ones. “The child has just come into the world, he has settled himself, he does not know how to express what he feels, so he cries. It’s normal! They scream because they are happy, they are enthusiastic, because they know how to show how they feel, they have no self control, they don’t have a well-developed rational part, they have pure affection, pure emotion, ”he explains.
“So, adults who are a rational part of the situation don’t understand it and accept it. It’s part of human development and everyone has been through it. This is the hardest and most painful part to look at. ”
Even mothers are not welcomed when their children are not welcome. How to take care of another man so that he becomes a healthy adult, if this mother excludes him from the mix, excludes him from the break, excludes him from the moments, sometimes rare, you can have fun and talk to other adults. For a change?
Baby’s place – and mother’s! – It’s not just on the playground, at home or outside of school. And the conversation has begun.
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