A Consulta, by Catharina Volckmer – Gamma Revista

“The Germans say they’ve dealt with the past, but I don’t think that’s possible,” German writer Katharina Volckmer said in an interview with The Guardian. Even today, nearly 80 years after the end of World War II, the author says her countrymen “simply freeze” any reference to the Holocaust. Nevertheless, his debut book, “A Consulta” (Phosphoro, 2022), defies the effects of this legacy and treats trauma with the ability to “freeze” any response.

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The simple premise reflects Philip Roth’s classic “The Portnoy Complex” (Compahia das Letras, 2004), one of the greatest proponents of Jewish literature. Just as it is, here the heroine recounts her story of lying on a couch, with Dr. John, an invisible Jewish doctor. Seligman. The hero of the book vomits bans touching female desire and gender identity to the identity of the nation, until it becomes impossible to give a Nazi salute at the same time, from the masturbation sessions guided by Hitler’s mustache. It still dictates how people should behave or not.

Considered one of the most prominent literary voices in recent years, Volckmer writes spontaneously on thorny themes, discussing key issues through its protagonist’s neuroses, desires and fears, while suddenly a wealthy woman and still struggling to free herself from her family’s roots. .. Sometimes funny and sometimes scary, but it never stops being interesting or the journey of examining some of the biggest insults and hypocrisies of today’s society.

But there is no need for me to be afraid, Dr. Seligman, co. Your aides told me that you are very careful and this may take some time, especially photos, so I don’t want you to worry, because I still feel that the reasons for my dismissal from work are misunderstood and that it is not fair to say that I have problems with my anger. I was angry that day, sure – before I started taking my hormones – but suspended this way, when people like me don’t know how things are? And I don’t think a person can be seen as blowing a stapler in the air and threatening a colleague’s ear at the table as a violent gesture. At least not with those staplers. I doubt if they ever tried to staple human flesh and a solid table, one of those hard plastic items. There was a high risk of losing my sight from the missing staple food, but it didn’t matter to them. Don’t be surprised if you ever give us glasses. Who knows how many people will fall victim to all those cheap stationery items. But I don’t regret it anymore. Let them be poisoned by biting terrible pens that turn any handwriting into pathetic. Because the worst thing is not to lose my job — you are starving in this town anyway — but to get me to a therapist named Jason, otherwise they will make accusations. Can you imagine being serious with a therapist named Jason, Dr. Seligman? The man, known as Dave or Pete, has the kind of face that can fit in, like one of the yoga teachers who laugh in spite of any atrocity, because he knows that the universe supports his purpose, and Soul avoids himself and turns around them. That’s why people like Jason think they can forgive all these little human mistakes and that’s why I decided to lie to him.

I think there is nothing more unpleasant than shared deviance.

I didn’t know what Jason’s theoretical line was, but I thought he would be annoyed if I talked about my sexual fixation in our beloved Fರhrer, and the inability to satisfy my desires made me angry and I wanted to dominate my heart, my colleague at the table. I couldn’t tell the true nature of my dreams and all the things that were wrong with my body, and after a while I started to really like my story. The author wanted to be an author. Seligman, and finding such a narrative was a beautiful experience. In the end, Jason couldn’t wait to finish our appointments, I can tell. I think there is nothing more unpleasant than a shared deviance; In addition, getting into a room with a German who speaks to him in a semi-archaeological position, imagining being whipped by the Fರhrer, also raises the moral issue. Although Jason was not willing to get emotionally involved, I could tell he was hurting. But these were not mere obscenities; The moments of true intimacy, the brave moments of that father we secretly yearned for, the doubts and broken promises, and the inevitable end to his grim face are named after Eva Braun, the secretary. The last time I petted a dog, before I returned everything, I explained in detail how I managed to smuggle my beloved sweet tokens and their famous hair locks into dirty nylon stockings and ask for a handwritten note. Do not wear anything except kippah. I think Jason was smiling when he said that I was daydreaming about my little A. When I was alone, I called Hitler, saying, “My name is Sarah,” before punishing me with his powerful whip. In my dreams I had dark brown hair and beautiful brown eyes, and it looked amazingly controversial. Jason promised to sign something that would prove my calm, calm nature, so he never had to ask how I had the habit of cuddling small pictures of the Fರhrer by imagining the Fರhrer’s mustache tingling to my parts. And how hard it was for her to have orgasm without a salute. I also proposed to draw some dreams and suggested that role-playing is a good way to relieve my tensions, but he can be so damn good, I can never forget what my thoughts are. In the end, I was quite disappointed in Jason and his lack of imagination, Dr. Seligman, but I’m still grateful for one thing. Before these sessions I thought the worst case of the Hitler Napoleon complex was horribly wrong. She didn’t care when the desperate little moon was trying to lure the sun. You may be wondering why I call her the sun, but remember that in my mother tongue the sun is a woman and the moon is a male, like some kind of valkyrie trying to protect her charms from a nasty little man. Perhaps that is why we are so distorted and the so-called lion complex has had such catastrophic consequences for us. I don’t want to find excuses for this again, but maybe Hitler really thought he wouldn’t be able to satisfy the Soul. Only a little man can think of his strength in these words; He is threatened by a man who never considered him a threat, and who could not even produce his own light. I’m sure the sun doesn’t care about the moon and its desperate progress. Why would you pay attention to a man who walks into your vagina without any emotional impact?

… I have a habit of making fun of his little pictures, imagining the Fರhrer’s mustache sticking to my parts.

Even today Dr. Seligman, for the Germans, is a living Jew a true spectacle, for which we were not created. We see the Jews as dead or miserable, looking at us with endless gray photographs or laughing in exile somewhere far away and we are forever in their debt. The only form of our solution is to turn the Jews into magical creatures that spit pixie dust from every hole, with high intellects, curious names, and infinitely more interesting biographies. In our imagination, a Jew would never be a taxi driver, and in my theology book there was a page devoted to famous Jews. In the music classes we sing “Hawa Nagila” in Hebrew, Dr. Seligman-thirty German children and not a single Jew were seen, and we sang in Hebrew to make sure we were disappointed and respected. But we were never in mourning; Increasingly, we are playing our newest version, maniacally racist from any point of view and denying any difference whenever possible. Suddenly there were only Germans. There are no Jews, no foreign temporary workers, no others. We did not give them the status of human beings or interfere with our version of history until the piles of those terrible stones they had placed in Berlin to commemorate the victims of the Holocaust. Did you see that, Dr. Seligman? Seriously, who wants to be remembered like that? Who wants to be remembered as the target of violence? We are so accustomed to controlling our victims, which is why even after so many years of living outside of history books and monuments, you have freed yourself from our version and now we wonder. Stay in this room together, doing what we’re doing, because I can almost touch your beautiful hair from here. It’s like a miracle. Although I have to tell you that your hair is a little thin at the top; But it’s mild, nothing stops the fans. But still, I felt I should have known.

Even today Dr. Seligman, for the Germans, is a living Jew a true quirk, for which we were not created

Do you think it would be foolish of me not to use Jason better, Dr. Seligman? It was the only time I paid to see a therapist and I was telling a story of insanity. I should be glad that he didn’t send me into a madhouse because of my nickname for the Fರhrer’s dick. But before it became a problem for my body now, I thought I could still see gay porn and find a way to laugh. It was I. Seligman. Until then I was aware of my dilemma, but there are different ways of knowing, different responses to that knowledge. And, contrary to what they say, it takes the body to love it. All of this nonsense about spirits is not true, no matter what form it comes in, you can love it. Our brain is made up of the way we love a cat, not like a bird or an elephant. If we want to love a cat, we want to look at a cat, touch its fur, listen to it, and touch the wrong thing because it wants to scratch us. We do not want to hear the bark, and if the cat begins to grow feathers, it will be killed, studied and eventually rendered weird. I don’t know why our brain is like that, but if people want to grow their feathers on us, they’ll shoot us in the sky and their dogs will fly at us. Shake us to death and make sure our neck is broken before they fill us in the bag and dispose of it. Our brains can still tolerate a cat without a tail or a three-legged cat, but will never accept any additives, any supplements that the cat is not born with. And a sloppy cat is a sick cat that spends too much time in a dog’s companionship; It’s not the kind of cat you’d want at home to play with your kids, because who knows, the disease can spread and the next day your cockapoo dog wakes up with a horn. Until he met K. Seligman, did not know that these were absolute boundaries, and no bald cat won the sky.

And, contrary to what they say, it takes the body to love it. Not all of this nonsense about spirits is true

  • Consultation
  • Katharina Volcker
  • Phosphorus
  • 104 pages

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